Grief strange thing isn’t it? I could emanate this blog by being inspirational or give you a motivational quote but in reality that won’t do anything me telling you it will be okay, this shall also pass, and time heals everything is something that everyone has heard at some point.
All of that is true but regardless it won’t make it easier “Sometimes life’s a bitvh and then you keep living” is cliché but a fact.
The Mighty 5 Stages of Grief
I call these stages mighty because they make things make more sense and give a type of cohere when everything seems going wrong it gives you some comfort knowing that what you feel isn’t just a bunch of crap.
1.Denial: if I can pretend that this never happened maybe I could get through the day. Feeling nothing is way better than feeling this immense weight on my chest. I’m fine everything is fine silly little lies we keep telling ourselves. Denial is a defense mechanism and like all other things this has to be confronted at some point. Unless you are Dr. Strange there is no way around it.
2.Anger: Aggression is something people project when they feel helpless or powerless. In a sense, it is much easier to be mad or point at something or someone for your loss than just accept that yeh kabhi toh hona he tha. It’s maddening in ways; why did this happen to me all these emotions built up and the simplest way to set it free is anger. Being considerate is important here just because you are going through hell doesn’t mean it gives you a free pass to be shitty to other people.
3.Bargaining: Bargaining is the one thing that makes you feel guilty and makes you wonder “What if….”, “If only I had….” This is a stage where you are willing to negotiate things with which you may ask well anyone anything that can undo the loss you feel. Grief as a whole is a painful process you see yourself fighting against all odds. With time people start accepting the reality but clinging on to a little hope for a bit is not the worst thing to happen.
4.Depression: It's difficult living life the same way you did when there is a chunk of it missing. You may find yourself wondering whether all of this is going to be worth it or what’s the point?; everything is so pointless that even getting out of bed seems impossible because things aren’t the same anymore and they can never be but change isn’t the worst thing it can be a window when everything is going sideways.
5.Acceptance: Subjectively I think this takes the most time to be okay with what happened. Life keeps happening whether you like it or not and accepting the fact that in the end you will have to learn how to survive with or without someone/something and its rather hopeful and enlightening knowing that it works out in the end it happened it was real and now it has past everything will pass.
Grief is something that lasts forever you won’t forget what happened you will learn how to live with it and remember it in a more optimistic way more often.
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